Bare Facts (was babybear3333)

A (usually) lighthearted and amusing outlook on the real happenings (and vivid imagination) in the day to day life of a walking disaster area/accident waiting to happen/prone to 'blonde' moments 40 something single female...:)

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Safe-sex...With a Banana?????

Continuing with the sex theme from the previous post...
Sex-ed...
Isn't it strange how your words come back to haunt under the most unusual circumstances...
In this particular case, 22 years later...
Don't worry I've not completely lost it, far from it...
Right, rewind 22 years to when I was in Secondary School aged 14...Sex-ed was virtually non-existent in those days, we had a one-off, single-sex 'discussion' with the School Nurse.
She covered all the usual topics such as what males and females get upto, both together and separately (covered this slightly in the last post), and the possible results of male/female physical interaction, including pregnancy and STDs.
Fair-play to the woman, looking back now she was as open and honest as she could be within the restrictions of the Curriculum at that time.
The one thing that I'm referring to in this piece though, seemed so strange to me at the time and has continued to 'pop' into my head at various points throughout my adult life causing varying degrees of humour, until very recently...
I'm always saying that whenever I mention something the opposite tends to happen. I say something then a few weeks/months later I'm forced to acknowledge that I've put both feet in it! That's exactly what's happened, yet again!
Was talking with a mate about the lack of Sex-ed I'd had at school and told him how the School Nurse had showed us girls how to use a condom. She got out a banana and a condom and calmly put the condom on the banana.(Any of you female readers out there ever had this particular example used to show how to use a condom?)
This was a standing joke in our school until we finished. What possible use could we find for having 'safe-sex' with a banana? hehe...
Well, you'll never guess what use my mate found for exactly that this week?

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Sexual Orientaion...

I know this is quite a bit different from the rantings, ramblings and just plain outpourings that I usually post, but I've been having a good look at why I started this in the first place...Was to let the real me out, or as much as I dare...So, here goes...A little insight into a part of me...Hope I don't offend...
Sexual Orientation...
I have pondered long and hard over this one people...
And come to the conclusion that I'm definitely heterosexual, but with a little 'bi-curious' thrown in there just for the hell!
I don't actually fancy women, don't even go looking for it, but, having sampled the delights of sex with another woman (in a MFF situation on 2 separate occasions) must admit to having a taste for that which only another woman can achieve.
Is as simple as that.
I know that may not explain it enough for those of you who haven't experienced it, but the saying is true...Only another woman can truly know how to satisfy another woman.
Doesn't, by any means, go to say that I don't like men, far from it actually. I like guys and sex with them so much that I can't do without it. Have to have as much as possible 'cos I've got an extremely healthy sex drive.
But the one thing a guy can give me overrides without a shadow, anything that a woman can do. The bit that a woman can't achieve is the feeling of a cock thrusting deep inside and all that goes with that...From the first intense waves of pleasure when he penetrates, right upto the feeling of a guy coming hard inside, his cock throbbing deep as he orgasms.
Returning briefly to the 'bi-curious' bit...The most satisfying of orgasms for me are achieved by both penetration and clitoral stimulation, all of which a woman can do. But the penetration just isn't the same with a vibe or dildo, finger or anything else.
There just is no substitute for a hard cock:)

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Legally Single...

I'm divorced!

At last!

And how did I discover this important milestone had come to pass? My ex husband told me last Friday:(

He got his Decree Absolute through the post from his solicitor last week.

Mine's gone missing in the post (that's another rant).

So, as usual, one of the biggest celebratory events of my year has been spoiled:(

I'm deflated about it 'cos I wanted to find out the same way as everyone else does, nice
Decree Absolute delivered straight to my door to put a huge grin on my face whilst seeing to the not-so-pleasant task of opening the rest of my mail.

But oh no, I have to be told by my ex...

Rang the court to find out what had been done with mine, to be told that it had been sent to my address on the 23rd of September. The 23rd of September! It's the 20th of October today...The court lady did offer to send a replacement to my home address, but I decided it's safer for me to collect it from the court.

May take a group of my mates up there and do it in style...You know, the advert of the newly divorced woman running smiling down the courthouse steps waving her Decree Absolute:)

Knowing my luck though, I'd fall down the bloody steps!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Lynda and Dell, Part III...

Finding 'Face'...
Continuing with my journey into the unknown...
A gorgeous guy I met in Evolution in Cardiff Bay introduced me to 'face-pic.com'. He came home after 'Time Flies' one Sunday morning with me and a mate.
We were having a nice chill 'n chat when he noticed my PC and asked casually if we'd like to see some pics of his cock!
I nearly choked!
My mate didn't even hear him, she was so 'off-it'...
The two of us went over to my PC and after signing-on to AOL (no mean feat when you're flying:), he logged onto his page on 'face-pic'.
It's predominantly a friendship/contact site. The idea is that you post a profile with pictures and then members search and message each other. There's a section on your profile to add 'adult' pics if you want to, but other members have to pay to view these...
Anyway, back to the page:)
I read his profile and looked at his regular pics, then he asked if I wanted to see his adult ones...Of course, I couldn't be rude and refuse, the poor guy was sitting next to me. As he'd accessed his own page, the pics could be viewed for free...
OMG! Here was I sitting next to this stunning young guy and looking at nude pics of him on my PC!
Looking back now, it was one of the most 'in my face' come-ons I've ever had, the poor guy was handing himself to me on a plate...And all I could do was goggle at those pics and think to myself 'no-way hun':(
I must have offended him with my silent refusal 'cos he was a little quiet for the remainder of the time he was here. But he did put his Yahoo ID on my Yahoo Messenger (I still chat to him occasionally via Yahoo and MSN and he's since sent me more 'artistic' pics, but we've not met up again since, even though we've talked about it and he keeps saying how much into older women he is).
When I went up to clean my teeth and change into my PJs, he followed me to the bathroom...couldn't have hinted any harder, poor lad:(
I thought about joining face-pic for a few weeks and eventually posted a profile and some pics. I had a very good response, loads of messages, even more when I posted a few pics of me in my undies on the adult section...I only reply to messages sent, not initiate contact. There's no need 'cos I get so many messages from guys. Had over 20,000 views on my profile so far...
I've had an even better response from joining Faceparty.com a few weeks later...Over 65,000 views and thousands of messages! Faceparty.com has got to be my favourite site:)
I chat to loads of different guys from all walks of life and some from all over the world. Guys aged between 20 and 25 are by far the largest group that message me, most of them with dirty suggestions of nude pics and camming!
However, I chat to loads and have met the odd one that are really genuinely nice, interesting people. I'm not at all shallow, but a sizeable proportion of them are really good looking as well, which makes the experience very pleasant on the whole:)
Whenever I chat to the guy that introduced me to FP though, I feel quite a bit of regret and could kick myself for passing that up!

Kleenex...

As if it weren't enough that I suffer with heyfever all Summer, I now have a whole, cold Winter ahead...

I swop the shades, suncream and baseball cap for a scarf, hat and gloves (and anything else warm and fluffy, awww:)...

Is very unfair that I have to have a runny nose and eyes for the best part of the year:( At least 11 months, it seems and is so NOT attractive!

I started getting heyfever in earnest when I was pregnant with my daughter, who's now 11, don't know why it came on worse then, but apparently it can throughout adulthood:(

I've always had a problem with the winter months though cos I get a lot of throat and ear infections. Was supposed to have my tonsils out when I was 18, but moved to London to work instead:)

One shrewd investment I should have made was to buy shares in the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, the parent company of Kleenex! I seem to single handedly keep them going for most of the year...Must fill a small landfill site all on my 'ickle own:( Must also cost me a small fortune for the whole year!

And I do not want any lectures about the environment, I've tried cotton hankies:( NOT NICE:( Is impossible to take enough of these things with you if you've got streaming heyfever or a heavy cold...

Ewww! Imagine having to carry all that snot around, and then wash it all. Think my washer would give-up in disgust!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Endangered Species?

I feel a little like an 'endangered species' at the moment, but it's kind of a 'natural' state for me to be in anyway!

After all the accidents/trouble/daft things I get myself into on an almost daily basis, I'm grateful, a lot of the time, just to make it through the week!

More so than usual lately though:( Not sure what causes this, whether I just attract disaster naturally, or I have an evil fairy god-mother...Suggestions on a postcard please...

'Cos I have exceeded even my own high incidents of weird, wonderful and just plain 'off-the-planet' happenings this last 6 months.

So stop the world please, I want to get off, for my own safety and sanity, if nothing else! (And I could do with a bloody good rest!)

Childlike Wonder...

I've always had the ability to 'see' things in a similar way that I saw/felt/experienced things as a child...

Far too many people go through to adulthood and 'forget' how to do this. Is a real shame, 'cos 'seeing' life in this way gives a whole different feeling to all sorts of things...

I'm not really sure how difficult it would be to 'unlearn' the hang-ups of maturity, but it must be worth giving it a go?

I know that in certain respects this ability leaves me vulnerable, open to criticism and virtually defenceless against a lot of 'adult' characteristics, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

There is nothing better than seeing/feeling/experiencing life in this way. The explosion of the senses, the waves of emotion and the childlike wonder are worth a world of hurt.

The sad people who use my naivety against me or to their own ends are the losers in the end. They can't take this away from me, and they will never know it again in their lives...I feel truly sorry for them.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

The Human Condition...

I just want someone to listen...To care...To understand...No danger of that though, is there? The human condition is there no more. It has evaporated quicker than we have evolved. We have become a species hell-bent on destruction, misery, cruelty, greed...I had faith, but no more! We have embarked on the path to self-destruction. There is no community, no conscience, no soul. If there was, we wouldn't be where I'm speaking from. But we are, and it has come. The world is full to overflowing of all the bad things human. The natural world has long been testimony to that. I feel it, do you?

Monday, October 04, 2004

Ten Inches Madam?

What can I say? Not a lot...
But then, my smile says it all really:)
hehe...
I thought I'd seen, and sampled, a good cross section of males, but I stand corrected...
I need to change my views and re-assess my thinking with regard to cocks...
Why? You ask...
Last Saturday night my friends and I got chatting to a group of VERY nice looking males at a local club. They were not only good-looking, but, as good-looking guys go, not bad company either:)
We all ended up back at my house (not entirely unplanned...The girls had asked if they could come back for a drink...I suspect it was more to do with the 'neighbours from hell', and them wanting to keep a watchful eye) and events took thier natural course.
Three good-looking single females and three very attractive single males:) (Sorry about all the grinning...You should see me drooling! Or not:) Pass me a tissue please:)
What I didn't know before pairing off with one of them was the VERY nice surprise I was going to get when we got down to some naked activity:)
I'm pretty sure I've not mentioned my very high sex drive and taste for the younger model, so I'm touching on it now...Just touching, lightly...Can't even have just a casual chat about it most of the time without getting real horny...hehe:) But then, I've not reached my sexual peak yet, don't have to worry about pregnancy 'cos I had a hysterectomy 7 years ago, and have an unusually high sex drive anyway;) As far as sex is concerned, I've always been a little shy for about 5 mins...Then look out! And, lately,seem to have developed rather a taste for 'adventure in the bedroom':)
And there I go, off on a tangent again...
Back to the issue of big cocks and a guy who knows how to use one...
OOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like! :):):):):):):) I like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got the message at the end of 'Oh! I like!:)' Sorry...Was getting carried away:)
When he got naked, I was SHOCKED! VERY NEARLY SCARED! Good thing I'd had an 'icle drink...Gave me a bit of much needed courage to sample what was on offer:). (Again, I appologise for the grinning:).
He came to me naked and I was a bit panicky then...He picked me up ('Officer and a Gentleman' style:) and laid me down on my sofa, kissing me and whispering to me, stroking me and turning me on, getting hard and turning me on even more...
Was both nervous and so horny at the same time...(Have had a past experience with a guy with a big cock, but, unfortunately, he wasn't sympathetic to the fact that it hurts a lot if you just try to fuck a girl without allowing her body to get used to it...Only takes a few minutes guys, and is well worth the time and attention spent:) (Same as any sexual encounter, come to that!)
Back to it...Yet again!
I really need to concentrate now...
Am sitting here grinning like an idiot! My body and mind got used to his gentle but firm approach:)
I had two of the most natural orgasms I've ever experienced, 'cos I didn't need any stimulation other than his spectacular cock thrusting between my legs, his hands running over me, accompanied by his body moving with mine and his insistance that I be satisfied completely before him.
I know it all sounds very much like 'through rose-coloured'...but was aided by alcohol and 'the moment'.
A series of 'physical moments' that we both shared, and those experiences were intense enough to cause so much pleasure for us both.........:):):):):):):):)